Social Media Summary (and Perspectives)

(Last updated 2024-02-22.)



Summary Graphic

Preamble and Background

Connections, Likes, Friends, Follows, etc.

Enabling Comments or not

Conclusion Substantially MirroredContent Unrelated to Us Unrelated to Us other “David Durlach”) id43 Active Essentially Unused(FOMO placeholders only) Mirrored content(Vimeo interface cleaner) Planned Legend: Not Currently Used or Monitored(FOMO placeholders and/or testing accounts only) Currently Used (Click to visit) Registered & Being Considered Twitter/X TikTok @daviddurlach@technofrolics Twitter @ChoreoArt@TemporalInnov ? “David Durlach” ? TechnoFrolicsDavidDurlach Facebook Any/all accounts Instagram Any/all accounts YouTube Pinterest Any/all accounts 3rd Party (not related to me at all...) 3rd Party (not related to me at all...)

The below is not interesting. Don't read it — you have better things to do.

The only exceptions are:

  1. You for some reason want a glimpse into the mind of one random social-media-conflicted soul.
  2. You wish tips regarding when I am more or less likely to connect on (say) LinkedIn.
  3. You are interested in my view on Comments and why I have generally disabled them.

PS:  All this is subject to change as my thinking and experiences evolve.


I struggle with how to handle social media — including whether/when to use, how to respond to (or initiate) Like/Friend/Connect/Follow requests, etc. Hopefully some of my ruminations may help others, as these days we all face such issues to some degree or other.

I am aware that many people enjoy and use social media platforms regularly, and that many marketing professionals believe social media is a key marketing tool. Additionally, I appreciate and respect that social media platforms typically allow conversations vs. one-directional communication. And finally, I want to be helpful to friends, colleagues, and people generally, whenever and wherever I comfortably can.

At the same time:

  • I myself rarely enjoy spending time on typical social media sites. There is in general simply too much — too much information, too many posts, too much visual clutter, and in some cases too many ads as well. I cannot take it all in — I am overwhelmed.
  • As a micro business, given my priorities and with an ever-present TODO list in relation to which I continually feel painfully behind — I find myself lacking a calm space to regularly update social media sites — at least not with content I feel is actually worth posting. I definitely do not feel that just because something happened in my sphere of life/work, that that alone makes it interesting or worth writing about; indeed many such things are not interesting even to me, let alone what I imagine might be of interest/value to others. And it is not just the prospect of regular posting that I find daunting — I find it difficult to find a relaxed space to even look at my “feeds” — let alone read, absorb, and reflect on their content.
  • There are many "thought leaders" who believe that it is to the extent one can avoid social media, and "shallow" activities generally, that allows for a productive, meaningful life. Here is a nice article on this issue by a blogger I like, Mark Manson; it includes references to other writers on the topic.



I find there are several reasons people want to be “Friends”, “Connect”, have you “Follow” them, etc.

  • They know enough about you that they reasonably think connection makes mutual sense.
  • They want to promote their offering generally, and/or solicit business from you specifically. Sometimes, they sincerely believe their offerings and ventures may be of interest and help to you, being aware of your situation specifically. More often, they are (in my opinion forgivably) just marketing relatively generically, not understanding there is no possible fit.
  • They want to increase their “status” by having a zillion Friends/Connections etc.
  • They want to increase their reach, such that messages they wish to share (blog posts - personal and business, course offerings, new products, initiatives, 3rd party links, etc.), as they arise, are seen by more people.

I understand all these reasons - indeed, within certain of the above contexts, I too periodically reach out.

However, when people reach out to me, particularly in cases of minimal apparent beneficial connection and no introductory message as to who they are and why they are reaching out, often I do not feel I can comfortably respond. This is particularly true when responding would not only clutter my “environment” (feed etc.), but also clutter the environments of anyone I am “connected” to, “friends” with, etc. My reluctance is even greater when I feel the vast majority of my contacts/followers (if I even have any, on the platform in question) would not be interested in what the requester is doing/offering.

Even when the people reaching out are friends, and even in cases where I respect their work, I can have concerns. More specifically, if I believe one or more of the following apply:

  • Their offerings would be of interest to only a tiny fraction of my connections.
  • I would need to write a lengthy preamble for most people to properly understand what they are about. E.g., in connection with valuable social initiatives, but where the initiative’s esoteric use of language and concepts would require significant effort by the typical reader to even understand what they are talking about. (Yes I know, not a great “marketing tactic” on their side...)
  • I strongly support 50% of what they are doing, but the other 50% is in rather stark conflict with my views and would make me uncomfortable to promote.

...then I am reluctant to respond in an undifferentiated blanked fashion.

And things feel even odder when the majority of connections I have on a particular platform are people I barely know, where I accepted their invite simply not to be rude... Perhaps because they overlapped with me in high school decades ago or the like (even if I have not communicated with them since...).

Regarding LinkedIn:

I myself essentially never request Connection without at least one of:

  • Obvious context - e.g., we were just part of the same Zoom meeting, we are friends/colleagues in the same general space, etc.
  • A personal note as to why I am reaching out and think the connection makes sense.

I expect the same in reverse.

If you are reaching out to me a generic fashion for your job, where I know there is essentially zero chance of mutually beneficial conventional business connection in the near/mid term (e.g., human resource firm wanting to provide staffing, investment advisor for assets I unfortunately don't have, new phone service provider, etc.), and particularly if there is no personal note, I will respond only if your profile and/or personal note makes the connection appealing even if we never work together.
(Examples of the latter: You provide irrelevant-to-me-personally service X, but you discuss area X in a uniquely interesting and human way, and/or in your “spare” time you tutor inner-city kids, make beautiful art, share personal struggles and insights, and/or just seem thoughtful and kind — something I feel the world needs badly right now.)

I am virtually never asked to make an introduction between two of my Connections. That said, if I were asked, I would make the connection if and only if:
- I personally knew both parties and their work (true in only a relatively modest subset of my Connections).
- I felt the connection likely to be of mutual benefit.
If those conditions were both met, I would be delighted to make the connection. (Otherwise, it would feel odd - and likely be of little more use to you than your reaching out to that contact directly anyway.)


As of this writing, I have decided to not, in general, enable comments on items I put out there. There are several reasons for this including:
  • I know I am in general , and don't want, by enabling them, to give a false impression otherwise.
  • Too many well known people I respect and follow have discussed the enormous emotional toll unnecessarily aggressive, negative comments take on them. And making such comments is far too easy. Additionally, hostile comments typically detract not only from the life of the creator, but from the community of readers .
  • Similar to the above, many well known people I respect and follow have disabled comments and my experience of visiting their offerings is often more positive, comment-impact-wise, that those who have enabled comments. More specifically, perusing their site feels closer to visiting a "curated art show presented within a quiet, reflective setting", than a "raucous, public town-hall style meeting". It is the former I in general wish to offer. If there are specific instances where I do want to create the latter, I will make it obvious (and will read all the comments) — but that will not be the default.

The above said, I do appreciate the critical value of kind, supportive, constructive feedback. Additionally, I am actually interested in peoples' response to my offerings more generally. In that regard:
- I encourage you to reach out via <contact(@)daviddurlach(dot)com>. If there are comments of particular interest, either individually or in aggregate, I may share them and/or in distilled/generalize form, along with a response.
- I may create a general comment structure designed to reduce the negative elements outlined above. If I do, I will most certainly update this section.



Being Friendly & Helpful

  • Notwithstanding the above caveats, my general orientation, as noted previously, is to be helpful whenever I can. So if you wish to share something you think I or my connections might have interest in, I encourage you to email it to contact(at)daviddurlach(dot)com with “FYI: [your topic]” in the Subject line. If I can find time to absorb, and an opportunity to share in a manner I think will be of benefit to you and others, I most certainly will!
  • Additionally, I welcome professional connections on LinkeIn. Please read above context in which I am most likely to respond.

δroplets Blog Coming Soon!

I am planning, after decades (yeesh...) of saying I am going to do, to actually start writing, at least semi-regularly, in 2023.

These periodic missives will most certainly not be the type of communiqué comprised primarily of statements like (personal) "I just had great time visiting location A - here are photos!" or (business) “We just completed wonderful project X!” I do not consider something of interest merely because it happened - or happened to me.

For what the writings will include, and their hoped-for beneficial impact on the reader, please visit δroplets homepage.